Brothers and sisters I cannot believe this day has finally come. I thought it would be eternities before I got to this point but now I’m actually here and it is crazy! I remember when I was growing up and I was in primary we would sometimes play the game name that tune during sharing time. And I would always get so bugged with everyone because they would guess my song before I even whispered it into the pianist’s ear. If I was smart I probably would have chosen a different song every once and awhile, just to throw everyone off, but I really couldn’t help it. “I Hope They Call Me on a Mission” was by far my favorite song. I loved singing it and the feeling it gave me. Being in primary I was still young and a naïve so while I was singing that song I didn’t know exactly what missions were like, but I did know that when I sang, or maybe more of screamed the words of the song I was filled with excitement of the possibility that maybe someday I could teach and preach and work like missionaries do. And now, years later, I’m standing here before you at the beginning of making one of my biggest dreams come true.
My heart is so full being here today, having the opportunity to share my testimony with so many of my friends and family is such a blessing. I hope and pray that while you’re here at this meeting you will be able to feel the spirit testify to you that what I say, I know is true. I also hope and pray that if you can’t remember anything from the talk I am about to give I hope you can remember my testimony that I KNOW Heavenly Father loves you, each and every one of you. I know that.
I think some people have the wrong idea about Heavenly Father, and though I am not perfect or anywhere close to it, I would like to try to clear that up as well as I can. I feel like people think of God as only a judge, that He is always there watching your mistakes, just waiting for the time to call you out. I remember in seminary a few years ago my teach used an awesome analogy for what Heavenly Father is like. He said something along the lines of; “Though many people think that God is like an umpire in a baseball game, watching to call you out, He’s actually the coach, cheering you home.” I think of all the awesome coaches I have had in my life, whether it be for volleyball or basketball, my school teachers, church leaders, family, or just people supporting me and giving me help through this journey of life. But my number 1 favorite coach will always be my Heavenly Father, because though he’s seen me make many faults, He’s still letting me play in this game and He’s cheering me on every step of the way.
I know sometimes it can be hard to understand that someone so perfect like Him can love somebody so imperfect like me. But it’s true. We would not be here today if it weren’t for His love for us. I look at this beautiful world that we are so blessed to live in and I have no doubt of His love for us. There is a hymn that is called God is Love and it goes like this:
“Earth with her ten thousand flowers,
Air, with all its beams and showers,
Heaven’s infinite expanse,
Sea’s resplendent countenance
All around and all above
Bear this record: God is love.”
Some of my family and I went biking through Snow Canyon State Park yesterday and it was gorgeous, absolutely breath taking as I looked around and saw all the things that He created I could not help but think “God is Love”.
I love to think about the fact that our Heavenly Father who has everything we could ever wish for, would not be completely happy unless I was happy, or any of you . He cares for us so much that he created a perfect plan for us and has promised to help us every step of the way. If we follow this plan, doing the best we can, enduring to the end we will return to live with our Father in Heaven in perfect happiness.
Enduring in this telestial world, where so many things can go wrong, can be hard. So hard in fact that we may feel that we are on our own, possibly just as Joseph Smith felt in Liberty Jail as he asked Heavenly Father “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?”
I had the incredible opportunity to visit Nauvoo a few weeks ago, we went to the sights, heard many stories of the pioneers, and got a little glimpse of what possibly our lives would be like if we lived with them. While you are in Nauvoo it is near impossible to not think of the pains and suffering that all of them went through. They were doing the Lord’s work trying to build Zion, yet they were despised and treated horribly, Joseph Smith getting the worst of the treatment. My heart aches when I think of the things that Joseph Smith went through. I feel like I understand why Joseph felt that Heavenly Father was so far away from him at this time. But President Henry B. Eyring councils us that “In the moments of pain, loneliness, or confusion, we do not need to see Jesus Christ to know that He is aware of our circumstances and that His mission is to bless.” I know this is true, with all my heart. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for all of His children and though things might not fall according to your plan, that is probably because His plan is like a million times better. I learned this in my own life, very recently actually.
Last year I was a senior in high school. When it came time to fill out college applications I yearned to get away and have a “true” college experience. As I studied out all of my different options for colleges I started to get discouraged. I found many colleges that sparked my interest, I prayed for each college trying to decide which one would be best for me, but I kept getting the answer no for all of them. I was a little frustrated with the idea of not getting away, but I didn’t know what else to do. I applied to Dixie State and that is where my applications stopped. I remember my oldest sister kept encouraging me to apply to many other colleges, but to her disappointment and my own, I didn’t. Months went by, I graduated from high school, and soon after that I was starting college. I thought my life would make more sense once I was working toward my career in school, and I would have a better attitude about things. But if anything college just made it worse. This was really weird for me, because I’ve never not liked school. I’ve always been a girl who enjoys most of my time in school, making friends with everyone in my classes, including my teachers, getting good grades and everything. But that wasn’t how the college me was.
Frustrated I would often turn to Heavenly Father in prayer asking Him “What should I be doing with my life?” I just felt so useless. I had so much to offer but I wasn’t doing anything helpful. There was a point when I too felt like Heavenly Father was hiding behind a pavilion. Like he didn’t really care what I was doing with my life. But I never stopped praying. In my frequent prayers little by little I was getting answers though I wasn’t aware of it.
Finally it was conference weekend. Before every session of conference I pray for something that I need, whether it be for my testimony to be strengthened, a question to be answered, or whatever it may be. Before this conference session, I believe I prayed with more intent than I ever have before. I asked Heavenly Father “Where do I go with my life? What do you need me to do?” I knew that if He gave me an answer I would do all in my power to live the life that He had chosen for me. And just minutes later my prayer was answered.
There was no doubt in my mind that serving a mission is exactly what I need to be doing now. Now that I knew what I need to be doing, everything else made so much more sense. I realize that if I had gone away to school, I might have actually enjoyed it a lot and possibly not wanted to serve a mission, and with the expense of moving away and paying for rent on top of tuition, I wouldn’t have been financially stable to serve.
In the months leading up to the announcement I have never had a stronger desire to serve. Though I thought I would not be able to serve a mission for a few more years, I found myself preparing both spiritually and physically. I often confided in my mom how I so desired to go through the temple and get my endowments out, I just wanted to be there all the time. I found myself being very picky with the new outfits I would buy, being very careful that I could continue to wear them after I had gone through the temple. And my testimony was the strongest it had ever been to that point. I was ready to serve.
In college my favorite teacher was my English teacher, though English was always my least favorite subject it was the only class I actually enjoyed in college. She was a great teacher and one of our major assignments was to keep a journal for her class. We could write about whatever we wanted as long as it was for 10 minutes for 3 nights a week. I would like to read my journal entry for October 5, 2012, which was the night before conference and the huge announcement. It reads…
Journal Entry From October 5, 2012:
“Yes! It is nearing general conference time and I am so excited! Conference is always something I look forward to. It always gives me the strength to carry on and continue to do my best in every way that I can. I love how inspired the great men and women of the church are. It honestly is so amazing to me the incredible doctrine I have the privilege to learn and know about. Gosh, I just wish everyday we could have general conference, I feel like this life would be so much easier to live! But then again I guess the scriptures are kind of like our own general conference that we can learn from everyday! Haha sorry.. I bet this is weird for me to write about… I don’t know I just love my church so much I seriously have such an appreciation for it and the joy it brings into my life. I can’t wait ‘til someday possibly having the opportunity to serve a mission and bring all this joy to someone else! Gosh I wish I could go now! But the Lord has His timing for everything so I will be patient.”
The next day the announcement was made. I got everything done as fast as I could and exactly a month later, on my 19th birthday my papers were submitted. Brothers and Sisters I know Heavenly Father had this plan for me from the very beginning. President Henry B. Eyring said “God is close to us and aware of us and never hides from His faithful children” I know this to be true. There have been many times in my life where I have felt His insurmountable love for me, and those times I hold very dear to my heart.
I testify to you that Heavenly Father knows each of you and loves you more than you can imagine. President Uchtdorf once said, and I want you all to remember this. He said “Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!” Just think of it.
I know this life can be challenging and there will be times when you feel that you are alone, nobody knows what you’re going through, but that is never the case. My very favorite scripture is Exodus 14:14 which reads “The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.” Never are you alone in this battle. You have Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ on your side! Like your team is stacked! Never forget who you are fighting for, and who you are fighting with.
I am so excited to be a missionary, so excited to be at the front lines of this battle. I cannot wait to share the love of our Heavenly Father with the people of the Ukraine. I know with out a doubt that, that is where I am supposed to serve and I cannot wait to get out there. I’m so thankful for the support that I have been given in this time preparing for my mission. I am grateful for the examples of my friends serving before me and the friends who are following close behind me.
I know this church is true with all of my heart and I can’t wait to get out there and testify of the truthfulness of it! I love you all so very much and I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ amen.
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